I like being macho. Amelia likes my macho when I direct the full force of my masculinity towards her, use it to create a safe space, plan for our future, work hard, or act protectively to create a container to process the inevitable pulls and triggers of living together in a cabin in the woods…. or co-creating a business together.
Over 22 years ago, my life was transformed by participating in the The New Warrior Training Adventure, which is sponsored by the ManKind Project, now a world-wide organization dedicated to providing a remedial rite of passage to men. A man without a clear purpose or who is not living in integrity with the world around him is an adult boy. Patriarchy and egotistical boy behavior whether in government, religious organizations, or the private sector fails to consider the one great truth…. we are all connected.
Eight years ago, Boysen Hodgsen, a fellow New Warrior, created this poem, The New Macho. I offer it here. I subscribe to it. I aspire to it. I offer it as an antidote to the narcissistic and boyish behavior in men and women, so we can move our collective consciousness towards pleasure at all levels, inclusion, and the unique self-expression of each precious soul on this planet.
The New Macho
He cleans up after himself.
He cleans up the planet.
He is a role model for young men.
He is rigorously honest and fiercely optimistic.
He holds himself accountable.
He knows what he feels.
He knows how to cry and he lets it go.
He knows how to rage without hurting others.
He knows how to fear and how to keep moving.
He seeks self-mastery.
He has let go of childish shame.
He feels guilty when he's done something wrong.
He is kind to men, kind to women, kind to children.
He teaches others how to be kind.
He says he's sorry.
He stopped blaming women or his parents or men for his pain years ago.
He stopped letting his defenses ruin his relationships.
He stopped letting his penis run his life.
He knows his body as a loving vessel.
He has enough self-respect to tell the truth.
He creates intimacy and trust with his actions.
He has men that he trusts and that he turns to for support.
He knows how to roll with it.
He knows how to make it happen.
He is disciplined when he needs to be.
He is flexible when he needs to be.
He knows how to listen from the core of his being.
He's not afraid to get dirty.
He's ready to confront his own limitations.
He has high expectations for himself and for those he connects with.
He looks for ways to serve others.
He knows he is an individual.
He knows that we are all one.
He knows he is an animal and a part of nature.
He knows his spirit and his connection to something greater.
He knows that the future generations are watching his actions.
He builds communities where people are respected and valued.
He takes responsibility for himself and is also willing to be his brother's keeper.
He knows his higher purpose.
He loves with fierceness.
He laughs with abandon, because he gets the joke.
This is the Mature Masculine - the New Warrior - a re-definition of masculinity for the 21st century. By no means is this list complete. You are welcome to come and add your gifts to this community. -- Boysen Hodgson, Mankind Project New England www.mkpne.org