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February 11, 2019

I wrote recently about how the world needs more Lovers — people who say yes to life in all its forms and refuse what is not life-giving both at home and in the world. 

This idea has caught my imagination and I’ve been playing with, gathering, and exploring what it means...

December 22, 2018

A key tantric idea that Erik and I play with a lot is “Everything is an Experiment.” Erik likes to say, “Doing the same thing is an experiment too. But don’t expect different results.”

It strikes me that the holidays are a great time to experiment as it’s a time that te...

December 4, 2018

Here is one of Erik and my favorite experiments to shake things up and re-connect.

Temple Time is sacred time or simply "time set apart" from regular life. It’s a practice to go deep with your lover. It is also an incredibly powerful way to create a “container” in whic...

December 3, 2018

I like being macho. Amelia likes my macho when I direct the full force of my masculinity towards her, use it to create a safe space, plan for our future, work hard, or act protectively to create a container to process the inevitable pulls and triggers of living togethe...

November 30, 2018

One way to frame the work that Erik and I are doing with couples is that we are creating a link from being a good and skilled lover in the intimate sense to being a good and skilled lover to the world.

Inspired by our study of Tantra, our friendship with people like Mar...

April 24, 2018

Cambridge Analytica captured the data of 87 million Facebook users, without their consent, and then used that data to target them with political advertising. This data included some people’s self-assessments on the Big Five Personality Factors: Neuroticism, Extraversio...

April 20, 2018

In a physical attack, we use an angled strike to deflect or nullify the attacker’s punch or kick.  This keeps the attacker from striking our body.  We also tune into our own body to make sure it is structurally stable and not leaning off-balance.  We make sure that the...

April 20, 2018

Basic Mistakes

Any attack is a matter of force impacting structure:

  • In a physical attack, the structure consists of the body and how it is held in the face of physical force directed against it.

  • In an interpersonal attack, our structure is strongest when we dise...

Erik: At this point in my life, with hopefully around a third to go, I am only willing to work with people who are up for taking responsibility for writing the script of their life. People who take responsibility in that way are Navigators. In sharp contrast, Victims s...

April 4, 2018

A major principle in Tantra is the healing power of pleasure. Pleasure and play are not frivolous or pleasant extras after your work is done. Rather, they are vehicles for connection with the divine and the source of creative juice. Pleasure is intimately tied to our a...